10 Reasons Why I Quit Social Media
I’m sure anyone by now has realized how toxic social media is for their mental health. Sure, it is a great opportunity to learn, connect, and be updated; or is it?
Just recently, I’ve learned that social media doesn’t offer me the connection that I crave anymore. It’s more of a superficial space where people update their life, for other people to see. It’s an intimate act– to let other people know how you’re doing, and yet (well for me) people don’t seem to care.
So why should I hang around any longer?
1. It’s Superficial
Sure I miss my friends, my acquaintances, and the people I bumped into 10 years ago, but it doesn’t hit the same anymore.
It feels like, they entered my life at the time when I needed them to, but when you hang around with a connection that doesn’t serve you both anymore– it doesn’t seem so healthy to me.
I don’t want to know what Elvie, from 5 years ago whom I met through a short event, is eating. I don’t want to know who Gerald, whom I met through an acquaintance, is hanging out with during the weekend.
It’s too much for me.
It’s like I know what you’re doing every day but we don’t really talk? How does that make sense? I feel like a stalker, I feel like I’m being intrusive.
2. It Messes Up My Self-Esteem
I know it’s not healthy. I know there’s something wrong when you keep comparing yourself with a stranger, whom you’ve followed for months now and haven’t really met in person. Seeing how their life unfolds from the past few weeks, then comparing it to yours is sick and twisted (me). Maybe it’s an exaggeration, but seeing them live their life every day doesn’t really help– again it feels like I’m being intrusive.
If you’re like me who used to follow “influencers” and celebrities, most likely, you’ve seen a glimpse of how their life unfolds through what they share on social media. Note that most of these contents are highlights, but I can’t help but think that what they show is how their life really is.
It messes me up thinking my life is not as glamorous, as perfect, as fun as theirs.
I also want to travel freely, I also want to do fun things, but I’m stuck in my own body that I sometimes want to crawl out to see what I’m missing out on.
It’s not healthy for me to keep doing that.
First I unfollowed all the celebrities that I’ve followed. It seemed to work at first but sometimes they still creep into my newsfeed or sometimes I still search for them!
So I decided to just stop looking altogether and see what would that feels like.
Now I don’t see what Miss Ashley is doing in her morning routine, but that’s fine. I don’t see Rico’s recent travels despite the pandemic, and that’s fine.
I’m just going to see and live my own life, and learn to live in this body and reality that I desperately want to escape.
3. It Ruins IRL Connections
I might be overdramatic with this one BUT it’s true. Sadly.
I recently discovered, that what I put out online has been the overdramatization of my life and my feelings.
This one is hugely my fault. Of course.
I want to live a life so grand and fun so people what to hang out with me but that desperation pushes people away.
I’ve noticed that I can’t papasin my way through attracting the people that I want to enter my life.
Whenever I post some life-changing event, I expect my friends to dm me or to reply to my IG stories to ask how I’ve been because THEY’RE MY FRIENDS.
I realized though that it’s unfair to ask that from them. Yes, they’re my friends, and yes you have to check your friends once in a while, but as we grow up, we tend to grow apart with some of our connections. It’s the natural order of things.
It doesn’t mean the connection was not true, it’s just how life is sometimes.
Sometimes you grow apart from the people you love. You can’t expect them to always check up on you if you haven’t check up on them too. Maybe they’re busy, maybe you’ve grown too far apart that there’s nothing you can relate to anymore– my friend actually said this to me when I asked her why we don’t talk anymore.
It’s sad, but it’s healthier to let that connection go and move on.
Maybe somewhere along the way, you’ll reconnect again.
But the internet doesn’t give me that space.
So I decided that I should be the one to leave.
4. It Ruins My Day
At the end of the day, whenever I feel good about something simple I’ve accomplished in my life, and I see what other people have accomplished, a much much bigger accomplishment than mine– I feel bad about myself.
I know it shouldn’t be that way, they’ve probably worked day and night for that and we only see the results, but social media has a way to magnify it too much.
I know that I should have control, I know that I should not be doing this. But I tend to compare my accomplishments with other people’s accomplishments.
It’s not good!
I should be able to live in my own little wins in my daily life, but whenever I see someone that has achieved something more significant, I lost all the satisfaction that I gained during the day.
Do you know who’s fault that is? Mine of course.
Do I know how to solve it? No, not yet. But I’m sure as h*** the solution isn’t found on spending more time in social media.
5. It Makes Me Feel Bad About The Things I Like
I’m just a simple human being. I see what I like, I listen to it, I watch it, I enjoy it.
The internet has made it more complicated than it should.
I don’t get it, maybe it’s not limited to the internet, but people now measure your self-worth over something that you listen to or subscribed to.
I admit, there are also some good things found here. It gives a validation that the people you follow are nice people, and by definition of nice: they’re well-aware of societal issues. That’s fine, that’s important. It’s a paramount prerequisite to know who you’re following to is not an a**.
Sometimes people ruin harmless things that people actually enjoy. I call them the internet pooper — from the party pooper derivative.
6. Gives False Expectations
Now for a 22-year-old, who’s just figuring life out with her first job, first disappointments, first major failure, first bounce back from the major failure, and so many firsts– it’s dizzying to see a looot of self-help-quotes, and motivational quotes from strangers on the internet.
I get it. They’re there to inspire people, but when that time comes that all you need is just a warm cup of tea and silence– the internet is not a good place to hang out.
When someone promotes hustle culture– when all I want to do is rest.
When someone posts about where to find happiness– I just don’t believe it.
Happiness comes and goes. It’s found in the most random, unexpected moments. It’s found by being present.
I guess I’ve recently found out that I can’t find that on the internet.
7. Makes My Schedule More Cluttered
I am now in my second full-time job. The first one has a more relaxed schedule, but this second job SHITS HARD.
There’s a designated time to be in and sometimes doesn’t have a designated time to be out.
I could say that this is not my ideal working conditions, but hey, I needed the money.
All I want is just my free time, my precious, precious free time from my unemployed days (another story).. so I want to preserve my free time as much as possible.
I want to preserve my newfound hobbies because it actually helps me ground myself and be present.
It helps me realize that not everything has to be work.. work.. work.. or else I’d go crazy.
I guess spending more time on social media takes my precious free time away too.
8. Ruins Attention Span
I can’t focus.
I can’t concentrate.
Who’s fault is that? Duh. Mine. Or is it?
Are you constantly bombarded with notifications? -yes
Are you constantly feeling like FOMO? — yes
Are you constantly checking your phone? -(guilty) yes
Does the feeling of constantly thinking about something but you can’t remember haunts you? — omg yes?
Then your (me) attention span is ruined.
9. Steals Bonding Time
Spending my free time in real life bonding time than via internet socializing makes me realize to give importance to the people that’s close to me now, instead of hopelessly watching and idolizing someone who may or may not care about you.
I love my friends.
But sometimes, through the internet, I can’t tell who’s who is who.
Maybe it’s the distance.
Maybe it’s because we don’t see each other that often.
Or maybe it’s just the natural course of the universe, that people grow apart.
When that happens, who are you left with?
I need to remember my priority. What’s important to me, and to focus on the things that I HAVE now instead of dwelling on the lack.
I need to stop my idealization and ground myself in reality.
Not to wish people how I want them to be, but to accept them as they are.
The internet does not offer that authenticity that I so crave.
10. It Doesn’t Give Room To Grow
Finally, as time goes by, I realize what’s really important for me: to live healthily and to have room to grow.
Constantly, I’m making mistakes whether I realize it or not.
I figure things out as I grow and I shed old beliefs that I think are outdated.
I am not the same person a month ago, a year ago, or three years ago.
My development is not seen as photos on Instagram or my tweets from last week. It doesn’t encapsulate the complex events that happened to me in my life. Yet, if I spend most of my life on the internet I can’t help but think that my life history must also be my browser history.
It hurts me– like wearing a shoe you’ve outgrown.
I’m constantly scared of being made fun of, being stalked, being canceled.
I’m not perfect, never will be. A lot of people will hate me as a lot of people will love me. I can’t please everybody but if I constantly expose myself to judgments on the internet 24/7, that would ruin my own self-image as well.
I’m not a celebrity, nor a famous person, but in a crucial stage like this, I’d like to figure things out on my own– in private, NOT on the internet.
Thank you for reading. I hope you’ve gained insights from this blog. Click subscribe for more~ Hopefully to see you next time! Bye!